The Vane ended in November 2015. If you’d like to find my future writing or contact me somewhere other than this godforsaken nightmare of a blogging platform, here’s how.
Even if this was a one-off thing, I like to picture him always sitting in his recliner, rattling these bombshells off in a raspy, eccentric grandpa voice. "My feet are cold. Mustard is too spicy. Why do candles burn unevenly. I'm hungry. Where's my TV Guide."